release me

once in a while, i think about a particular recent affair and i lose my breath as a wave on anxiety takes hold of my body. i feel clenched. i find it a bit shocking how such things have the ability to affect me physically. it's been hard to let things go when no closure is offered, but i'm almost there.

a couple months ago when my stress from this was at peak levels, i was obsessed with the below video.

"This video has lots of fun dancing but also strikes an eerie note, since it focuses on the ideas that a) lots of people dance alone b) in their underwear and c) not many people look beautiful dancing, especially once they’re slowed down, sped up, or frozen. The result, however, is quite beautiful: Intimate, lonely, and still fun. The video was directed by DANIELS (Daniel Scheinert and Dan Kwan)."
-stereogum

physical expression of nonphysical concepts or emotions, in the form dance, is incredibly striking and beautiful to me. i often regret not pursuing dance past my two years of ballet from age 6-8. but this video gives me hope in some strange way. i love the raw, awkward, honest passion of the dancing in the video. for some reason i identify with that. there is something freeing about intense motion ( the guy wearing the gray thermal, in the video). or maybe i have just watch it too many time (probably about 40 times, no joke).

anyway, ENJOY! its kinda weird. but so is life. weird is real. embrace it.

Underwear by FM Belfast (Music Video) from Daniel Scheinert on Vimeo.

jubilant!

this is TOO GOOD!
thanks to nic, the man of impeccable taste!




similarly, popscene nights:

the perfect oxfords

after much searching i found 'em. ain't they prettty! but alas, i won't pay $130+ for them. RATS!

im into it

best. summer.

here's the deal:
-i have been feeling ridiculously good!
-we have been having lots of visitors and hence, many adventures as of recent!
-three weeks at Bosch Baha'i School means clarity and joy.
-i have really been enjoying certain people.
-i've been jumping off a lot of things lately ( rope swings, rocks) and swimming. oh haaaay summer!
-i feel very lucky to be leading such a full life.
-summer school starts on monday. bring it!

in other news, i found these:



i know i don't need them...buuuuuuut...

i will surge but i will not rage

its funny how all tests seem to boil down to expose one fundamental weakness. as if each ache attempts to chip away at this heavy chain, year after year. i am my own shackles, and i am so stubborn. here it goes.

i will surge but i will not rage.

slight

a list of words that are inside of me:

slight
self
slits
imperfect
touch
unsure
sun
wary
worn
heavy
young
hesitate
history
breathe



i have finished finals and i feel stunned numb by this quarter and how quickly time passes.
i often regret that i am not better at expressing myself.
i feel confined.



i need my redwoods.